My wife and I recently spent the weekend on the Jersey Shore, where we stayed at a B&B called The House on the Creek. Here’s the review I’ll be posting on Trip Advisor:
The House on the Creek is a lovely place for a weekend getaway. I really can’t complain about it too much. It had just about everything we were looking for.
It had a bed…
…and breakfast.
Outside, there was a creek with a beautiful swan, which swam up to greet us the day we arrived. However, the swan never showed up again. I will say, it was so graceful and majestic that it raised expectations. I wanted to keep looking at that swan, but for the rest of the weekend, we just had to stare at this tranquil (but dull) body of water…
See what I mean? I think, if the owners of The House by the Creek are going to have a swan as part of the package, they should arrange for it to be there all the time, not just when you first show up. Or else you’ll just be going, “Where the hell is the swan?” Later in the weekend, a great blue heron showed up briefly, but it was too little, too late. :(
The House near the Creek supplied beach towels. This was very nice, but it bothered me for some reason. Maybe it was that the towels were rolled too quaintly and arranged in a wicker basket, like in a Pottery Barn catalog. It’s a little too precious…something that a Brooklyn yuppie like me would take a photo of, and damn it, I did! Maybe I’m just mad at myself for taking this picture. But if The House beside the Creek had just thrown the towels in there in a more dishevelled fashion and not been so cutesy about it, maybe they wouldn’t have brought out this tendency in me, is my point.
Also, one afternoon, my wife and I returned from gallivanting in nature only to find the lampshade in our bedroom violently askew.
Weird, huh? It made me wonder what kind of gallivanting had been going on in our room while we were out. I’m not certain the owners of The House behind the Creek had an orgy on our bed that afternoon. But if they did, they really should confine that kind of thing to their personal living quarters. I mean, they probably didn’t. But if you’re going to leave a lampshade at such a strange angle, people are bound to fill in the blanks. Complex feelings such as moral disapproval mixed with jealousy will arise. My point is, they shouldn’t have wild sex in your room, and if they do, they should fix the lampshade, so guests are none the wiser.
Then, when we went to the beach, I witnessed this…
I don’t know if these sea snails (alive and moving) were engaged in group sex, or clinging to each other for dear life, but the image disturbed me greatly. It gave me nightmares -- and still does. Such a thing might be outside the control of The House up the Creek, but I think they should notify the Parks Department. Unless it's something you’re really into, no one should have to look at a clusterfuck of mollusks. (Which is why I’ve decided to post this photo.)
Lastly, The House next to a Creek had a nice, if small, library for guests to enjoy…
…with an eclectic selection, ranging from bird books to mysteries to…
…The Denial of Death, the classic work by existential psychologist Ernest Becker. It had been on my “to read” list for years! (My wife didn’t believe me, but I assured her, yes, this is a book that millions of people have meant to get around to reading.) So I did.
Finally, some rest and relaxation.
Thank you, House with a Creek. Despite the problems noted above, we had a wonderful time!