Loving Myself
Thursday, February 9, 2012 at 9:59AM It's been said that the greatest love of all is learning to love yourself.* That’s easy for me, because I’m really attracted to myself. Sometimes when I’m walking down the street, I’ll see my reflection in a mirror or shop window and think, “What a cool guy!” I have a lot of great qualities, if you ask me: my mind, my sense of humor (of course), nice legs. I make the best home fries, and I pretty much agree with my taste in music, across the board. Lately I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with myself, and its really rewarding. Sometimes it's hard to leave the house.
I worry that this relationship with myself is getting a little too claustrophobic, so I’ve decided to see other people. But that just makes me jealous. So I come home and bring myself cards and gifts and say things like, “I’m sorry…I’m really drawn to you, and I think I love you, but I just feel there’s more to life that I haven’t experienced besides…myself.” Then I’ll say, “How do you think that makes me feel? If you really loved me, you’d want to be with me and me alone.” I won’t know how to respond, so I’ll just say, “It’s not you…it’s me.” It’s a painful scene, but no-one said love was easy.
I’m considering marrying myself. It isn’t legal, not yet, but it should be. I’d like to buy myself a little place outside the city and settle down. I’d bring home the bacon, and when I got home, I’d do all the cooking and cleaning, and keep myself satisfied. On weekends, I could be handy around the house. Maybe I’d put up a little knick-knack shelf, and on it, I’d put a picture of -- who else? -- me. I’d be so happy.
Tim
*When I posted this the other day, the first line read: "Whitney Houston said that the greatest love of all is learning to love yourself." I thought of it as a humorously dated reference. It wasn't mean to be a reaction to her death, since when I wrote that, she was very much alive -- may she rest in peace. Coincidence or synchronicity?
Reader Comments (2)
How does my sister feel about this?
Hoping she doesn't read this one. It's just between me and the internet.