SEARCH timelliscomedy

See Tim perform stand-up! WATCH ON YOUTUBE

Get Tim's album on iTunes! 


Casual Pimpin' - Web Series - Coming Soon

BIG NEWS! Finally, someone is making a documentary about my music. I'm allowed to share this short teaser...enjoy & stay tuned! (Soundtrack feat. the band Modern Beast.) WATCH ON YOUTUBE


Better Names for Vote-A-Rama?

Vote-a-Rama is a pretty fun name for what the United States Senate is doing. Here are some other suggestions that might be better: Vote-aganza, Vote-apalooza, Clustervote, Vote Mob, Voting Slam, Vote-gasm, The Great American Vote-Off, American Ninja Vote-iors, So You Think You Can Vote, Sirs & Madams Vote-a-Lot, Hands on a Hard Vote, Long Day's Journey into Vote, Vote-R-Done, Vote-mageddon, or Possibly Destroying Healthcare.


SHOWS THIS WEEK (July 12 & 15)!


I haven't performed musically in a while (been doing more stand-up), but this week, I have the chance to "whip out" my comedy songs at 2 shows:

1) Tonight (7/12) at Sketch Block - July, 9pm at UNDER St. Mark's Theatre - produced by Paul Valenti.

2) Sat (7/15) at Don't Feed The Musicians, 7:30pm at QED: A Place to Show & Tell - produced/hosted by Rob Paravonian.

These are cool shows & people I always enjoy doing & seeing...that didn't sound good, but you know what I mean. Come on down!


Strains of GOP Logic from #ComeyDay

Trump didn't obstruct justice & Comey should've stopped him. Trump didn't order Comey to do anything, he was just sharing his hopes & dreams with Comey, like Dorothy singing about the rainbow. Trump didn't follow protocols because he's just too dumb (the Ryan defense). It's offensive to say the president is a liar - we all know that, so why bring it up? Comey's statements prove the president did no wrong & Comey's statements are all lies. And whatever John McCain was saying.


Please listen carefully...

Please listen carefully to the following options, as our menu has recently changed. For billing inquiries, press 1. To schedule an appointment, press 2. For phone sex services, press 3. To hear the soothing sounds of the humpback whale, press 4. To order refills for your Pez dispenser, press 5. To have your landlord kidnapped, press 6. To listen to The Scarlet Letter in its entirety, read by Rosanne Barr, press 7. To order a medium two-topping pizza with crazy dipping bread and hot wings, press 8. For enlightenment, press 9. To replay these options, press 10. To hang up, just hang up. Put down the phone. Or you can just listen to the sound of nothing – that is technically an option. Goodbye. Oh, and we love you. Om.


VIDEO: On Dating & Seduction

Erotic tales from a recent show...