Rhetorical Questions?
I just found out that my whole life people have been asking me questions I don’t need to answer. Who knew about rhetorical questions?! See, I try to be polite and a good listener. If someone asks me a question, I do my best to respond. Like if I offer you a piece of cake, and you say, “Why not?” I’ll say, “Maybe you don’t need the calories. Or you have a gluten allergy. Or don’t like chocolate.” Or if someone asks me if a bear shits in the woods, I’ll say, “I’m pretty sure they do, since they tend to live in wooded areas and need to defecate.” Or, “Do you always answer questions?” I’ll say, “I try to.” If you ask me something, and I go to the trouble of thinking about it, and then you say, “Um…that was a rhetorical question…” aren’t you kind of being an asshole? Who do you think you are, Socrates? Why don’t you just say what you mean instead of masking it as a question that you already know the answer to, or don’t want answered, which ultimately makes the listener, me, feel stupid? I mean, WTF?!
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