Best of the Human Comedy, 2011

The Human Comedy of Tim Ellis will be on break for the next two weeks, but before I go...

I've decided to jump on the bandwagon of year-end lists and pick the top-ten Human Comedy posts of 2011.* Here they are, in the order in which I've typed them:

Werewolves of Brooklyn (MUSIC VIDEO)

My Vagina Monologue (VIDEO)

Mayor McCheese (SONG)

Casual Pimpin’ (SONG)

Hollywood Confidential: My Big Movie Role

T-Shirts for the Wealthiest Americans

My Love Child with the Maid

My NYC Hurricane Preparedness Kit

Beauty, Sex, & Death: A Bed & Breakfast Review

Rejected Wendy’s Slogans

*This list was selected through a highly undemocratic process, taking into account popularity, reader responses, and my own warm feelings. I only started this blog in mid-May 2011, but that's not going to stop me from making a list! 

VIDEO: Zen Comedy

A meditation with jokes. WATCH ON YOUTUBE

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THE EXISTENTIAL LENS: Wake Up with Wendy

Really? I’ll admit I’ve had fantasies about waking up with Wendy. But I thought there was something wrong with me. Now Wendy’s is encouraging it! Is this a Freudian slip, or are they stooping to pedologophilia* as a marketing ploy? (Would the late Dave Thomas approve of whoring out the cartoon image of his daughter, in order to sell breakfast burritos? Maybe he would, since he didn’t mind turning her into a corporate logo. Isn’t the whole franchise built on Wendy's freckle-faced, pigtailed charm?) Not that it has to be sexual, but I sure wouldn’t mind seeing that adorable redheaded first thing in the morning, serving me a sausage and egg biscuit in bed…aaaah!

*pedologophilia: n., (psychology) the love of children, especially cute drawings of, as depicted in company logos.

NEWS: My Bro’s Band The Lomax’s New Album

A rare post not about moi -- but pretty close, if you consider the DNA.

My brother Andrew and his band The Lomax have been producing high-quality “twangle pop” (they coined the term) in the Pine Tree State for several years now. They’re a little bit country, a little bit power pop, and a lot of other things. But really they are their own thing, The Lomax.

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THE EXISTENTIAL LENS: FedEx Koan

Fedex stands for Federal Express, right? So this means Federal Express Express. Does that mean it’s faster than regular Fedex? Or that it's not federal? Is it federal? Maybe this is some kind of Zen koan demonstrating the limits of human logic. Yeah, that’s what it is…my mind is short-circuiting and spinning into emptiness. Fedex Express. What can it mean? I’ll never know, and knowing is not the point. It means nothing...and everything. Whoa! Now I feel at peace, released from all burdens, in touch with the ultimate reality. I think I’m enlightened! Thank you, Fedex Express, for delivering me to Nirvana.

FICTION: The Lone Turkey

For the holiday, I thought I would post some of my early work. I’m still proud of this story, which includes action, suspense, irony, pathos, and a powerful message of animal liberation. (I also notice that my prose style hasn't changed much since it was written.) Below is an original manuscript page, along with the complete, newly annotated, text:

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