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Friday
Aug122011

Kardashian Names of the U.S. Presidents

 

While trying to keep up with the Kardashians (it’s not easy), I noticed an interactive feature on their web page that will tell you your Kardashian name. Apparently, everyone has one; you just have to look it up (mine is Kim Kellisian). In order to get a little ahead of the Kardashians, and as a public service, I decided to research the names of the 44 U.S. presidents. I publish them here as a matter of public record:

Keorge Kashingtonian

Kohn Kadamsian

Komas Keffersonian

Kames Kadisonian

Kames Konrian

Kohn Quincy* Kadamsian

Kandrew Kacksonian

Kartin Kan Burenian

Killiam Henry Karrisonian

Kohn Kylerian

Kames K.** Kolkian

Kachary Kaylorian

Killard Killmorian

Kames Kuchanian

Kabraham Kincolnian

Kandrew Kohnsonian

Kulysses S. Kantian

Kutherford B. Kayesian

Kester A. Karthurian

Kover Kevelandian

Kenjamin Karrisonian

Kover Kevelandian***

Killiam Kinlian

Keodore Kooseveltian

Killiam Howard Kaftian

Koodrow Kilsonian

Karren G. Kardingian

Kalvin Koolidgian

Kerbert Kooverian

Kanklin D. Kooseveltian****

Karry S. Kumanian

Kight D. Keisenhowerian

Kohn F. Kennedian

Kyndon B. Kohnsonian

Kichard M. Kixonian

Kerald R. Kordian

Kimmy Karterian

Konald Keaganian

Keorge Kushian

Kill Kintonian

Keorge W. Kushian

Karack Kobamian

*Research found that a middle name is not converted to begin with a “K” in a Kardashian name. It just stays the same. This was surprising and a little disappointing to me, but that’s the way it is.

**This president’s middle initial already was K., so it worked out nicely.

***Kover Kevelandian (22nd & 24th) is the only president to serve two non-konsecutive terms.

****I think this is my favorite president’s Kardashian name. What’s yours?

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Reader Comments (3)

Kight D. Keisenhowerian has to be my favorite. What military general wouldn't want a Kardashian-like name?

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Yes, a military general would want a Kardashian name, because of all the power it affords. Keisenhowerian wouldn't have understood this in his time, but today it's obvious.

September 9, 2011 | Registered CommenterTim

I like Killard Killmorian ... I may actually change my name to that. But its already taken, kind of. Perhaps Killer Killmore ... Is that his wrestling name? ... No, he's a professional kitten rescuer.

Advantage: The name plate on my door would weed out the not so-serious solicitors. If they read the name plate and still knocked ... I wouldn't answer. Because; A) They may be more psychotic than someone named Killer Killmore; or B) They feel their faith is strong enough to convert a guy named Killer Killmore. I'd need to break out my super soaker full of Holy Water to get rid of them.

Disadvantage: Dream of becoming a successful surgeon is dashed.

Advantage: Would make a great wrestling name.

October 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDan

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