Best Look from Fashion Week

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Loving Myself

It's been said that the greatest love of all is learning to love yourself.* That’s easy for me, because I’m really attracted to myself. Sometimes when I’m walking down the street, I’ll see my reflection in a mirror or shop window and think, “What a cool guy!” I have a lot of great qualities, if you ask me: my mind, my sense of humor (of course), nice legs. I make the best home fries, and I pretty much agree with my taste in music, across the board. Lately I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with myself, and its really rewarding. Sometimes it's hard to leave the house.

I worry that this relationship with myself is getting a little too claustrophobic, so I’ve decided to see other people. But that just makes me jealous. So I come home and bring myself cards and gifts and say things like, “I’m sorry…I’m really drawn to you, and I think I love you, but I just feel there’s more to life that I haven’t experienced besides…myself.” Then I’ll say, “How do you think that makes me feel? If you really loved me, you’d want to be with me and me alone.” I won’t know how to respond, so I’ll just say, “It’s not you…it’s me.” It’s a painful scene, but no-one said love was easy.

I’m considering marrying myself. It isn’t legal, not yet, but it should be. I’d like to buy myself a little place outside the city and settle down. I’d bring home the bacon, and when I got home, I’d do all the cooking and cleaning, and keep myself satisfied. On weekends, I could be handy around the house. Maybe I’d put up a little knick-knack shelf, and on it, I’d put a picture of -- who else? -- me. I’d be so happy.

Update on Sunday, February 12, 2012 at 12:19PM by Tim

*When I posted this the other day, the first line read: "Whitney Houston said that the greatest love of all is learning to love yourself." I thought of it as a humorously dated reference. It wasn't mean to be a reaction to her death, since when I wrote that, she was very much alive -- may she rest in peace. Coincidence or synchronicity?     

Tom Brady Song Two Ways (Plus Blooper!)

"Tom Brady, Can You Sing?" -- a Super Bowl song for the musically nerdy. Written & performed by Tim Ellis.

ON YOUTUBE:

ON SOUNDCLOUD:

BONUS BLOOPER!

In this outtake, I got Tom and Giselle mixed up. Instant blooper!

NEWS: Andy Kaufman's Funhouse @ UCBeast

Just found out a video of mine will be screened at this show on Mon., 1/30, 8 pm, at UCBeast...

Andy Kaufman's Funhouse

Andy Kaufman's legacy lives on in the next generation of performers who epitomize Andy's alternative, bizarre, and envelope-pushing sense of humor.

INFO & RESERVATIONS

I plan to be at the show, if I'm not out wrestling with women.

Dispatch from the Android Occupation

In the last year, androids have taken over our city.

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SONG: Tom Brady, Can You Sing?

LISTEN & DOWNLOAD (FREE!):

Tom Brady, Can You Sing? by timelliscomedy

Sure, Tom Brady's great...he may be headed to another Super Bowl, he's married to a supermodel and all...but can he carry a tune?

Written by Tim Ellis. Performed by the Tim Ellis Trio, featuring Tim Ellis, "T. J." Ellis, and Timothy John Ellis. (Photo of Tom Brady: Keith Allison.)