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CASUAL PIMPIN': TWELVE TIGHT TUNES
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Entries in political humor (15)
Alexander Hamilton was a highly overrated founding father. He was very rude to Aaron Burr & should apologize immediately!
Patriotic Aaron Burr thanks me for protecting the 2nd amendment. Hillary would take his pistol away. Apologize, Hamilton!
Awkward Alexander Hamilton was never elected president. Not a hero! I like people who were president. I will do a great job!
Illegal Alexander Hamilton was born out of wedlock in the West Indies. Can't be president - not allowed. He should apologize!
Sleazy Al Hamilton had 1st US sex scandal. Mine was locker room talk, his adultery/blackmail. Disgusting subject for musical!
Sad Al Hamilton was Washington’s puppet - a totally weak main character for a Broadway show. I’m no puppet, believe me!
My business relationship with Argentina is fantastic. Totally ethical! Remember that Hamilton must apologize to Mike Pence
I respect our 1st amendment freedom of the press. They are free to come to Trump Tower and hear me call them liars. So dishonest!
Had a wonderful meeting with members of the press. That roomful of losers couldn't interrupt me! How'd it feel, Charlie Rose?
I should've canceled yesterday's media summit. My one &only mistake. Did I really let Wolf Blitzer into my home? Never again!
Obviously I have nothing to do with Nazi groups &condemn their actions. Appreciate the hails though! Better to reach me through Steve Bannon
I denounce the offensive graffiti at a park named for Adam Yauch, a horrible Jewish rapper who corrupted our youth with...was that singing?
So, Crooked Hillary won't be locked up. I don't want to hurt the Clintons. If I wanted to, I would! Not about justice, about my feelings
The president can't have a conflict of interest. I could use a nuclear threat to get a hotel built in No Korea &it would be OK. This is fun!
The NYTimes is failing, believe me. Since Chuck Klosterman took over as the Ethicist, all downhill. Also miss Mark Bittman! JK, I don't cook
The failing NYTimes is at it again. Lying press being very rough on me by quoting what I said on record. The Gray Lady is not a nice lady!
Want to express your love in a way that's true to your Marxist politics? (These and other "Communist Valentines" were read aloud by Mo Fathelbab, Chrissie Mayr, and me at the Feb. 11 Manifesto! - a show I co-host at the People's Republic of Brooklyn.) Viva revolución of love!
This Groundhog Day, Staten Island Chuck once again proved hard to handle for a New York mayor. I caught up with the radical rodent for his frankest interview to date.
Did de Blasio drop you, or did you jump?
Ha! Let’s just say I wriggled.
Was that a political statement?
What do you think? I bit Bloomberg to show my support for the 99%. If you include rodents, the percentage is actually much higher. So, De Blasio got elected as a progressive, but he doesn’t get a free pass. If you want me to interpret my own symbolism, the point was: don’t drop the ball. I’m the ball in that metaphor.
Have you always been a political animal?
Not really. I just do what comes naturally. Look, February 2nd arrives, and I’ve been hibernating. These guys show up with TV cameras, and I’m like, "Hey, it’s not a good time! Do you realize I’ve been living off my own urine for months? I need to eat!" So I just go with my gut, I improvise. The political justification comes later. If you read a lot of Marx and Foucault, you sort of see, "Yeah, that’s why I did that."
New T's spotted this week reflect how the candidates are doing.