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CASUAL PIMPIN': TWELVE TIGHT TUNES

Friday
Dec022011

THE EXISTENTIAL LENS: FedEx Koan

Fedex stands for Federal Express, right? So this means Federal Express Express. Does that mean it’s faster than regular Fedex? Or that it's not federal? Is it federal? Maybe this is some kind of Zen koan demonstrating the limits of human logic. Yeah, that’s what it is…my mind is short-circuiting and spinning into emptiness. Fedex Express. What can it mean? I’ll never know, and knowing is not the point. It means nothing...and everything. Whoa! Now I feel at peace, released from all burdens, in touch with the ultimate reality. I think I’m enlightened! Thank you, Fedex Express, for delivering me to Nirvana.

Wednesday
Nov232011

FICTION: The Lone Turkey

For the holiday, I thought I would post some of my early work. I’m still proud of this story, which includes action, suspense, irony, pathos, and a powerful message of animal liberation. (I also notice that my prose style hasn't changed much since it was written.) Below is an original manuscript page, along with the complete, newly annotated, text:

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Friday
Nov182011

SONG: Mayor McCheese

LISTEN & DOWNLOAD (FREE):

Mayor McCheese by timelliscomedy

Written and performed by Tim Ellis. A soft-rock political anthem for these troubled times.  

 

Tuesday
Nov152011

NEWS: I'm on Onion News Network

I appear briefly in the latest episode of the Onion News Network ("Today Now! Special") on IFC. It aired last Friday and will be shown again Tuesday @ 10:30 p.m. (Tonight! & I hope there will be other chances to see it, with the Internet and all.) The segment I'm in is about hipsters eating at Applebee's, ironically. I'm a guy who's against that.

Friday
Nov112011

My Amp Goes to 9

See, the numbers all go to 9. It’s one quieter. It’s not 10. (Or 11.) Most people are gonna be playing at 10…you’re on 10 on your guitar…where can you go from there? Nowhere. What I do is…I take it down a notch...to 9. It’s one quieter. These go to 9.

Thursday
Nov102011

Beauty, Sex, & Death: A Bed & Breakfast Review

My wife and I recently spent the weekend on the Jersey Shore, where we stayed at a B&B called The House on the Creek. Here’s the review I’ll be posting on Trip Advisor:

The House on the Creek is a lovely place for a weekend getaway. I really can’t complain about it too much. It had just about everything we were looking for.

It had a bed…

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